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| I think the word miserable is an understatement of how I feel sometimes..... | | |
| There are times where I just feel so overwhelmed with emotions, I just want to scream! I want to rip my hair out, or punch a wall, I want to yell, I want to kick. I want the feelings to just go away, they're too much, too soon, too fast..and they're always all together, all at once. It almost hurts, physically, emotionally, mentally....it hurts, I ache. I seem to be crying more and more often as I realize why these emotions are coming over me, why I feel this way. And it's hard to admit at times...but I know it needs to be said. My throat swells up just at the thought of those words escaping my head, as if when the leave my mind they'd become real, and my emotions would be real, and the situation I'm in would be real. It's not a fantasy. It's reality. And the reality is I'm alone. Even when people are around me, I'm alone.
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| So it seems when everything is finally calm.....the walls will soon crumble around you.
My father, along with 80 other people in his company were layed off yesterday. He refuses to tell my mother what his severance pay is, and has apparently been drinking since yesterday afternoon....This hit hard. My mother struggles as it is, and relies on him to pay our rent, and child support and my college tuition....not anymore....my mom will have to now work weekends, both me and my sister need to get jobs, and I need to find myself health insurance....If I can't get approved for financial aide, I may not be continuing college next year....the money we were going to use to purchase my first car now has to go to the next three months rent.....My head is spinning and I feel like I'm drowning in fear....everything was going so well....what happened? | | |
| I hate you..you have no idea how much I hate you.
You're annoying.
You're a slut.
You should die... Just get out of my life already..
Leave!
Fuck off! yours truly,
pissed off | | |
| It's been a few months since I've written anything on here.
Not that anybody reads this anyway....
I've statred college, and I'm on my way to independance.
Yippie.
I'm taking an english class, which sucks..
and a hospitality and management class,
and it rocks...I can't wait to begin my career :]
I know..I'm a loser. Anywho, life has been going swimingly.
I would rant about certain things...
but I'm in too good a mood to complain. | | |
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subway train bicycle euroblender 
